Why and How I quit
After giving about 20 some odd years to chikan, i quit for good about 2 years ago. As weird as this may sound, i have this site to thank for it. When i discovered this site, it was around the time that the people you see in the archives were regular posters. There was one poster, whose story really got me thinking and started me on my road to quitting for good. I will not mention his name. It was his story, and the reaction to his story that both disgusted me and scared me. I was scared for my own well being. He posted a story about how he actually raped a girl. Now he did mention how he knew it was wrong and he shouldnt have done it but he couldnt help himself. What i realized about chikan is, it can progress very quickly and before you realize it, you are doing something you could never ever take back. What i mean is, constantly indulging in this can lead to boredom and that boredom will lead to you taking more risks.
Example. Frotting is cool to you and it feels nice, but you want to feel more. So you find the thinnest pants out there to maximize it. Ok, but then that gets boring and you want even more feeling. So now you start to take you d!ck out. Ok, that gets boring, now you want to cum on a woman. See where i am going with this? I'm not saying every chikan ends up a rapist, but it can happen if you dont have control over what you are doing. I myself decided to stop altogether.
The poster talked about just nailing this woman as she was passed out from the night of activity at a concert. The other posters on this board had nothing but praise for him. Saying things like "i would have done the same thing"....and so on and so on. I thought to myself, with the right conditions, the kind of girl i like, would i have done the same thing??? I couldnt answer. And that scared me. I realized my mind was completely warped. Did i think girls deserved it b/c of how they dressed? Did i feel woman were there for my perverted enjoyment? Would I become a hypocrite by becoming outraged if something like this happen to women in my family? So many questions i asked myself and I had to take a really long hard look at myself. Its time to give it up.
I've tried prior to this epiphany, if you will, to give but always went back. Progressing further than the times before. I believe the mistakes i made before was in trying to scale back my activities. How do you stop an animal from attacking you permanently? You have to kill it. So thats what i did. The day i decided to stop was the day i stopped. I no longer waited or took crowded trains. I stopped going to parades that i could care less about. Stopped spending money on concerts. Etc. I mean i stopped cold turkey. The very next day as i waited for my train.......of course it was delayed...and of course by the time it arrived it was jam packed. I felt the familiar tingle in my body and the excitement begin to rise within me. What did i do???? I didnt budge. I didnt take one step towards that train. I had to wait for at least two more trains to go by before i could comfortably board one. I was late for work, but i had dry pants and a clear conscience. I constantly told myself that this wasnt worth it anymore. Think about it. All the preparation that goes into this. Shopping and looking for the thinnest material available and spending money on that. Then finding and researching concerts and buying tickets for that. Spying and scoping out potential targets and hoping not to get busted. Maybe rub on someone for a few minutes, maybe get a nut or two, then go home. Then do it all over again. Why????? The reward, in my opinion, does not outweigh the risk. Its not worth it.
It was tough but i really stuck to my guns this time and swore of chikan for good. I started putting my energy towards my career. And that has paid off tenfold. I started putting my energy towards just meeting women. I tell you, i hope this doesnt sound like bragging and i apologize if it does, i get more pu55y than i could stand right now.
A quick story. There is a woman that i see at least 3 to 4 times a week on my daily commute. I starting noticing her back in december. From the jump i thought she was fine. Smooth brown skin, with a body that made me want to come out of retirement. I started small talk with her in January and it turns out she is a nice person. I NEVER frotted her. If the train was crowded, i would keep my distance or go to another car, or not get on at all. Two weeks ago, there was a major problem on our line. We were talking and just being friendly with each other like normal now since a lot of months have passed. Our express train moved to the local track and our already crowded train turned into a dangerous situation. Sardines have more room in their cans than we did. She got jostled, i grabbed her just to steady her a bit and she turned around and grabbed a pole. The only problem now is her butt was smashed right up against my d!ck.She had a yellow strappless dress that completely hugged her figure. I looked down, saw the smooth brown skin of her shoulders and back and her beatufil hips and cheeks that were now being invaded by my rapidly growing d!ck. She laughed a bit. I didnt. When we reached the next stop i forced myself off of her almost starting a fight with the guy behind me. She asked if i was ok and i told her no. "It wasnt right for me to be plastered up against your backside like that. I am not a pervert." She looked at me but didnt say anything. Im not sure what she thought at that moment. Then i just spoke about how bad this train is and she agreed. Next thing i know i was asking her out. If she had any plans that weekend. She did but she invited me to her home the following saturday, which was the saturday that just passed, the 9th. She said she would cook for me. I never turn down a free meal. lol We set it up, turns out she doesnt live far from me at all. I go over there and i will spare you the details. We had great food and even better sex. I cant wait to see her again tonight. I said all that to say, that if i just went for frotting her when i first saw her in december and emptying my balls inside my pants, or jerking off when i thought about her, i would have never been able to empty my balls in her warm, tight, moist pu55y saturday afternoon and evening. I have other examples not exactly like this one but similar in the end result.
These past two years have been great. I can look at myself in the mirror. I no longer feel paranoid when i'm in a crowd b/c my mind is not on frotting. My mind is stable. I would be lying if i said it didnt cross my mind now and then...especially in crowds. Its funny what you notice when you are no longer in the game...and you notice other people that notice as well. That made me realize even though no one may say anything, there are people that see what you are doing. Dont think everyone is oblivious even if it seems that way.
Why I quit...i didnt want to progess and do something even worse than what i was already doing. Again, im not saying every chikan out there will turn into a rapist or whatever. How i quit.....cold turkey. Made drastic changes, stayed away from crowds and focused my energy on important things. Two years removed from 20 some odd years of frotting. I dont crave it. I dont desire it. It doesnt have a hold one me. I still get tempted as i said before, but i choose not to feed that beast. The beast that you feed the most within you is the one that will win and take over. In fact, you can see a recent story where i almost allowed myself to get dragged back in to the game. I've seen that woman after those experiences with her, but never spoke to her and she never approached me again either.
Hopefully this will help someone who is seriously trying to quit. It can be done.
Happily Frot Free!!!
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