RE: Will we do this forever/Secret Life
There has been some fantastic and therapeutic responses to the 'Will we Do This Forever' thread.
Thanks to you 'all' for being empathic and sympathetic about my original post and concerns. I thought the post would depress most of you and just cause ill feeling and piss-take comments, but I was wrong!!!
Great feedback from third eye open, The Shogun, guest, and others!!
I was especially tantalized by your comments. You seem so sure that you want to quit, and at such a presumably young age too.
I like the way you refer to chikan as a 'Double Life' – wheras I used 'Secret Life'. I know exactly what you mean HSH. The fact that I am typing this now is a part of that secret life I HATE so much......surely I should be doing something more constructive?????
When chikaning, I feel like a sniper planning his next hit. It feels good-but it feels wrong too!
Sometimes I can see myself from a distance at a gig, and in my mind, I look like a right sad fucker. And yet, before the C.A.T.S. I feel as alive as it is possible to feel......as Shogun says 'It's like cocaine' man!!
It was nice for you to add to HSH's comments too.
But Amber, where were you when I needed a reply to my recent 'What It Feels Like For A Girl' Post??? lol!!
Hi there. Your last post you said
“Correct me if wrong. Maybe you are a single guy that has a particular goal that u feel u will miss out on. that's the reason you have cats. I think if u were to settle down with a good woman, have some kids, earn a good living, and add a new hobby besides chikan, I think u will be happy person”.
I don't want to give too much away about my personal circumstances, but I DO have so much (to lose)!! It's not about having goal etc. For me I think I can truly say chikan has become a cheap thrill (although most of the time it's not so cheap cash wise), but like I've said soooooooooooo many times, I'm as high as a fucking kite before a gig/event.
Sometimes chikan feels great. But sometimes it makes me feel very sorry, and sad. Not that I want to put a downer on things.
It is good to talk over topical things like this though. It's all part of the game after all.
I'll say no more guys, and I still hope to post up the story soon!
Thanks again to all of you for your comments.
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