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learning from failures

Ozzi,

You had a great day on the trams. Boy, I've got to get down under sometime.

I thought we could have an interesting discussion about our failures, which I'm sure we all have had in abundance. Analyzing failed experiences can teach us a lot about successful chikaning.

I, for example, have often failed because I have not heeded clear rejection signals. As I've said before, I'm into mound caressing these days -- that seems to be the only kind of chikaning possible on buses and trains in this city because they are rarely crowded.

Just two days ago, I plonked myself next to a woman in her early 30s. I could immediately sense her stiffen, and I could feel her staring to her side. It was clear that she was sizing up the exact distance between us and checking out my sitting posture. All this, within the space of 30 seconds -- I hadn't even started my moves.

And yet, I persisted. She seemed uncomfortable. Except for shifting her body away a little bit -- which I usually take to be a clear indication of rejection -- she sent out every possible signal of dissent. But I was feeling so horny that I kept trying to get my fingers on her thigh.

Stupid. Absolutely stupid. She looked down at her lap after a bit. I still didn't move my hand. Then she looked pointedly at my fingers and of course, I had to withdraw. I didn't try my luck again.

I shouldn't have made any moves at all from the beginning, given her body language.

More generally, I find that a string of successes tends to make me complacent. This can be a serious problem in practicing the art. Because I become progressively more impatient and start moving too quickly. I ignore warning signs. I am less sensitive to the target's body language. Stupid, stupid.

Keep it real, folks.

Aise

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