Incarcerated ex-Inspector Found Buggered To Death!!!!

*NEWS FLASH* *NEWS FLASH* *NEWS FLASH* *NEWS FLASH*

The investigative team at the Daily Mirror has just learned that former British Transport Police Inspector Callahan was found DEAD today in the prison facility's shower/lavatory area for inmates. What is being classified as a murder transpired only days after Callahan began serving a 6 month term for sexual assault in a case that has shaken Britain's police establishment.

According to statements from a prison official who has asked to remain unnamed, Callahan was BUGGERED TO DEATH by another inmate sentenced to life imprisonment for BUGGERY MURDER ONE. That prisoner has been identified as none other than the infamous Harry Homo. Homo has been placed into lockdown mode while the investigation into this instance of inmate on inmate crime continues.

According to our confidential internal source, when asked why he did it, Harry said that he had noticed Callahan's plum bum cheeks as he was being led to his cell. With nothing to lose since he was serving a life sentence, Homo said that he just had to have Callahan's plump, round buttocks as it had been far too long since he had enjoyed some all new bum crack.

Besides, Harry Homo went on to say, Callahan's sentence was not enough. He needed to pay through the arse for all of his previous butt rubbing! And pay through the arse he did as our internal source chimed, "Matey, Callahan's arsehole looked like a knot on a 100 year old tree by the time Harry Homo got through with him! A most awful sight!"

In an official press release surrounding the murder, the warden informed the media that Callahan's family has refused to claim or otherwise accept responsibility for the burial of his very butt fucked and dead body. Therefore, Callahan will be cremated and his ashes dumped into the English Channel. The tides will then insure that dealing with what remains of Callahan will become a French problem.

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