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Headquarters Metro Bulletin

Inspector DickInHand(Callahan), will soon be released on his own recognizance pending the outcome of several court hearings related to his arrest for sexual assault. We at headquarters had intially placed Callahan on paid administrative leave pending the outcome of his legal troubles.

However, upon our review of the evidence collected thus far, we have been able to positively confirm that Callahan's DNA matches that found in semen that had been wiped into the back of the victim Heather's head. His DNA also matched a spermatozoa sample that had been collected for analysis from the stained backside of some trousers belonging to the victim known only as Christina. Therefore, Inspector Callahan has been sacked as of now.

This bulletin is to alert all citizens throughout the Kingdom that Callahan is mentally unstable and may attempt to hoax people into believing that he is still an officer with the force and in good standing. Clearly, nothing could be further from the truth as he has lost his badge. Should any citizen encounter Callahan attempting to impersonate a police officer or otherwise breaking the law, do not allow yourselves to be intimidated and duped into falling for his ruse. Instead, attempt to effect a citizen's arrest, or otherwise safely detain Callahan, until the proper authorities can be notified and arrive on the scene. Callahan is not considered to be armed and dangerous, but just a little delusional. So all you good citizens stay alert and keep a lookout.

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