Another from the archives . . .

Here is the first St. Patty's Day story I remember posting on this site:


Ahhhhh St. Patrick’s Day! Maybe it’s what you could call an American version of Oktoberfest, which occurs in Germany. I wouldn’t know though since I’ve never been to Oktoberfest. But, I imagine it’s like St. Patrick’s Day . . . a celebration where throngs and throngs of people gather to drink beer and get drunk. And of course, where there is a crowd, you’re likely to find a chikan!

Last St. Patty’s Day, that’s exactly where the Shogun found himself. That is, in a crowd that had gathered in one of the many Irish bars around town to celebrate on that special night of excess beer guzzling. St. Patrick’s Day has never been a particularly special “chikan day” for Black Shogun (unlike New Year’s Eve for example), but this time around, I was “feeling it” and decided to go see . . . ummmm . . . what I could “get into”. Hehehe! So, I went ahead and decided to make a call upon the pretty female “pooty hole” that might be out to drink and party.

When I arrived at the very sizable bar, it was already nicely crowded with people. I was wearing my pullover warm-up with thin black trousers . . . dick out of underwear . . . you know the routine. As things turned out, it was a chikan buttfucker’s dream! The place was “crack packed” with nice looking women who had brought their bums out to the bar on that festive night. So many were the choices that I ended up staying in the bar for a solid 6 hours, and I WAS BUSY CHIKANING THE ENTIRE TIME!!!! No joke blokes!

Like I said in an earlier post, it was like being a kid in a candy store. I bummed so many women that night that I lost count. It was “helter skelter chikan” in that there were female butt cheeks everywhere for an eager chikan’s dick and/or hands. That’s why I mentioned before that I didn’t even know if I could write a coherent story about my experience. After thinking about it, I concluded that I could if I focused on the “major humps” I was able to pull off on that night. So here goes.

There was this really tall, attractive brunette who I rubbed my dick against all night long. She was my “filler girl” in the sense that when something else a little more heavy wasn’t going on, I could always count on getting my dick against her ass cheeks. You chikans know the type I’m talking about. That totally oblivious one in the crowd whose cheeks you can easily bum with impunity. It’s very important to find a “filler girl” when on the booty hunt my friends! Anyway, she didn’t have a big butt, but it was nice and shapely, and outlined well by the thin gray trousers she was wearing. She was with a friend, and the both of them were talking to these two guys.

Throughout the entire night, I kept walking behind her in the crowd and DRAGGING THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF MY STIFF PRICK ACROSS HER SOFT BUTT. I would groan under my breath as I could feel first the shaft, and then head of my sausage meat, drag roughly across her tender buns. Many a time, I would not pass in the crowd, but just stand there behind her and “linger” my dick against her ass. On several occasions, she would be animated in her conversation and would SHOVE HER BUTT BACK while laughing, etc. Whenever she would do this, I WOULD TAKE A “HUNCH” FORWARD AND PENETRATE HER BUTT CHEEKS!!!

As I rubbed against the brunette, I couldn’t help but think about some of the recent discussions and/or questions raised on the board, such as the one asked by “new guy” who wanted to know how I could get away with butt fucking a girl while other guys were standing right there talking to the same girl. A smile came to my face as I again pondered his question . . . my hard dick firmly against the brunette’s butt . . . and already knowing that the answer lied in my deep, experienced understanding of the “chikan universe” and crowd behavior. I pleasured my dick against her ass the entire night . . . every now and then penetrating her ass crack.

When I wasn’t on the brunette’s ass, I was in for a lot of “ordering drinks at the bar action”. What do I mean by this? Well, I’m talking about queuing up in a mob of people at the bar trying to order a drink. Being the chikan that I am, actually getting a drink was always secondary to getting my dick against plump female booty cheeks! As I went with this type of action throughout the night, I could only think of our friend Ozzi Groper who very recently perfectly expressed the mindset of a chikan in this type of situation, “I don’t care if I’m ever served!” Are you being served? No, and thank you! Hahaha!

There are three memorable women whom I bummed while pretending to be very concerned with ordering a drink. The first was a tall and attractive woman in her 20’s with long, light brown hair, and wearing THIN white slacks. She was standing right up against the bar, and I had managed to get directly behind her. My dick was hard and stiff in my own thin trousers as I allowed my hard boner to come to a rest gently against the crack in her butt cheeks. Gradually and stealthily, I increased the pressure, creating more contact with her body. It wasn’t long before I was right up on her back, AND MY DICK HAD PUSHED GENTLY INTO HER BUTT GAP!!!


After the bitch placed her order, she straightened her stance back up, but I was ALL against her ass now. I began to slowly and gently rock back and forth on her bum to create friction . . . MY DICK WAS IN HER BUTT!!! MMMMMM!!! I leaned my torso back some and pushed my hips forward and ROCKED THEM CHEEKS! I was paying close attention to see what kind of reaction she might show . . . there was none . . . ONLY THIS KNOWING KIND OF SMILE ON HER FACE! The chick knew what I was doing, and she just took it . . . smile on her face! After several long minutes, she got her drink and left the bar. I looked for some more ass.

I eventually found a brunette and ended up doing her the same way. She was right up against the bar, ordering drinks for herself and several of her friends. I was a bit more aggressive with her though. I got behind her and gently placed my dick right in between her butt cheeks in the “hot dog” position, and began to ROCK THAT ASS immediately. The bartender comes over to take her order, and what does she do??? This bitch BENDS WAAAAAYYY OVER to place her order, just like the other girl did, and the result is the same . . . her ENTIRE ass in MY CROTCH!!! I OBLIGED, AND DUG INTO HER BUM CHEEKS TOO! AAAARRRRRRRRRR!!! Again, I paid close attention for reactions, and again, THIS BITCH HAD THAT SAME SMILE ON HER FACE TOO! What the fuck??? Whatever, I KEPT MY DICK IN HER ASS . . . and RRROOOOCKED! At least until her order finally showed up. Damn!

That’s the problem with “drink order action”. It all comes to an end too quickly usually. Gotta go find another butt to hump. I did just that too . . . in a PHAT ASSED BLONDE. This bitch had a pretty face with long, curly blonde hair all down her back, and a big ONION BOOTY squeezed into some jeans. My dick was hard as a giant nail as I got behind her to uhhhhhhh . . . “order”. Hahaha! Fuck the beer, I wanted some ONION!!! Hahaha! It really wasn’t crowded enough at that point to justify me getting right up on her back, but I was determined to anyway. It was taking a long time to get any service, and I used that to my advantage to keep “closing the gap to her gap”.

Eventually, I did get right up on her back, with MY DICK GENTLY RESTING IN HER POOTY CHEEKS, and SLOW GRINDING!!!! AHHHHH it felt good! In the spirit of Ozzi Groper, I wished that the bartender would never show up! LOL! I would say that I was slow grinding that white girl in her ass for a solid 15 minutes. At least. I had got to the point where I was REALLY against her, starting to PUSH and to HUNCH BETWEEN HER BUTT CHEEKS! It wasn’t crowded enough to justify what I was doing . . . she wasn’t smiling either! I feared a very negative reaction (a chikan’s “6th sense), so I decided to say something, if not to totally prevent a negative reaction, then to at least lessen it.

I leaned forward (pushing my dick even further between her butt cheeks of course), and asked her if she would tell the bartender what I wanted when he finally got over to us. She said yes, but then THE BITCH ELBOWED ME IN THE STOMACH AND SAID “GET BACK!” That didn’t bother me so much. I could just sense a negative reaction coming anyway, so I took preemptive steps. I went ahead and stepped back. But what pissed me off was that the bitch didn’t order the beer I asked for! A-hole Bitch! I had to spend several more minutes waiting. Grrrrrrr!!!

The best action of the night for me involved two BIG BOOTY BLONDES who were wearing low rider jeans WITH NO PANTIES ON!!! Like I said before, these babes had bums right from the Buttman website! I’m talking onions to make you cry! I chikan butt fucked the first one while waiting in line to get into the bathroom. It was kind of a mob scene. To get to the bathrooms, you had to walk through this narrow passageway with tables on one side, and a part of a bar on the other. There was supposed to be a ladies line and a guys’ line, but in the confusion, people were standing everywhere in this “pack” of people.

I got into this pack of people to go to the bathroom several times during the night. I would always stand where there were more women in order to try to get a butt fuck going. The first time I was in the line (or what went for a line), I was behind this tall blonde in a thin skirt, and I HAD MY DONG BURIED ALL UP HER ARSE GAP. The crowd would push me from behind . . . I would push on purpose . . . DIGGING THE HEAD OF MY BONER IN BETWEEN HER BUTT CHEEKS AND ROCKING! My eyeballs rolled in my head as I COULD FEEL HER BUTT CHEEKS SPREAD APART! Eventually she got away, but then that’s when I saw her . . . the first fat assed blonde with the low rider jeans. Her hair was long and permed, and I could see that her jeans were very, very low. I immediately stepped to her big ass when I saw her. By this time in the night, I had lowered the zipper to my trousers.

By the time I had got behind the phat assed blonde in the low riders, she had turned a bit sideways against the bar, with her big butt sticking out into the jammed passageway. I pushed my bone right into her butt crack and BEGAN TO SLOW GRIND! I adjusted and PUSHED THE HEAD OF MY BONER INTO HER ARSE GAP. That’s when I happened to look down and my eyeballs nearly popped out of my head! I SWEAR THAT AT LEAST ¾ OF AN INCH OF THE BITCH’S NAKED ARSE GAP WAS SHOWING!!!! GAWD!!! I couldn’t believe that shit!

My dick grew hard like a telephone pole as I began to push and grind hard and more insistently now. I was humping her butt and looking down at her DEEP, FLESHY ASS CRACK! I began to fantasize in my mind about what I wanted to do. If we had been in a much more dense and crushed crowd, I would wedgied “Mr. Stink Finger” right in between her butt cheeks. Better yet, I would have put some of my meaty “pooty prober” in there and left some “ass crack syrup” in her gap!

Ah, but none of that was going to happen. It would have been much too risky. I could only look, hump, and dream. The girl’s friend had been standing in front of her. She turned around and they started talking. Then, I saw the friend whisper something into the girl’s ear! Next, she helped that fat assed white bitch hitch up her low rider jeans. I was certain she had told her that her ass crack was showing. Hitching up the jeans didn’t matter because they slid right back down in less than 2 seconds! Hehehe. I wondered if the friend had caught me looking. I didn’t give a shit . . . I kept butt fucking and dreaming until I got to the point where I could (had to) get into the bathroom.

I “had to go to the bathroom" several times on St. Patty’s Day. Hahaha! Hey, I was drinking beer too! But never was I drunk. A professional chikan is never drunk. Never! One time when in the bathroom line. I started to grind on the ass of this short chick something good. She didn’t like it, and shoved her ass back hard, knocking me off balance and into a bunch of other people. They were like, “Hey watch it asshole! What the fuck!” Hahaha! I didn’t give a shit. A chikan’s gotta do what a chikan’s gotta do!

The highlight on that St. Patty’s Day came on the very last butt hump that I attempted. I couldn’t have scripted it better. I was again standing among another group of people pretending to be interested in ordering a drink. I noticed another big assed blonde, also with a pretty face, but with straight hair. She was standing very close to the bar and dancing wildly. I worked my way to where I was behind her and got my dick against her butt. I looked down and I SAW THAT SHE TOO WAS SHOWING HER ASS CRACK!!! What is this? Some new style to go out to bars and nightclubs and reveal your ass crack to the world??? Whatever it is, the Shogun likes it! If these bitches are stupid enough to literally show their ass cracks in the bar, then the Shogun is stupid enough to fuck them in 'um!

I got behind the blonde and lifted my pullover warm-up to get my dick against her jeaned butt cheeks. With her wild dancing and wagging her ass cheeks all over the place, the friction was out of this world. I rubbed and hunched and ground against her ass, feeling the pleasure well up! I remember thinking, “Hey, I have a chance to cum here!” AHH . . AHHHH . . AHHHHHH . . . JIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZ, JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIZZZZZZ, JIIIIIIZZZ!!! A GOOEY, STICKY, LOAD of SPUNK coursed out of my dick! It didn’t come out in spurts, but in three streams . . . two of them really, really long. I think the load was so big because I was extra excited . . . I mean, fucking that blonde in the butt and looking at her milky white ass crack at the same time!

I tried to see just how much cum I had deposited on her jeans. It was dark . . . I didn’t see any. I took a swipe at her ass to see if I could feel any . . . nothing. But it didn’t matter, the bitch had unknowingly milked a HUGE load out of my dick, and that’s all that mattered to me. I decided to leave the bar, the mission having been accomplished. As I was walking toward the stairs to exit, I came into more light. I looked down, and I could see a mess of cum on my pants leg! There was so much, I decided to get a napkin to wipe it away. The next day when I looked at my pants, there were HUGE, DRY, WHITE SPLOTCHES all over my pants. That blonde unwittingly milked my ding-a-ling off GOOD!

Black Shogun!!!
Semi-Retired Chikan

P.S. There was actually a third girl I saw wearing low, low, low rider jeans with no panties . . . a Latina. When I saw her deep, brown, fleshy arse gap, all I could do was go, "OOOOHHHHH GAWWWWWD!" I tried to get her, but that hump didn't pan out. Can't have um all every time.

P.S.S. This video shows just how much crack the girls I wrote about in this story were showing. Just like this:

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