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Dry Humped On The Green Line

Not sure if I told this story before, and I'm even more unsure if the world really needs to know this...

Hell, you all know enough crazy things about me by now to know that I don't embarass easily. That said, I shall tell the story of my adventure one morning going to work taking the metro rail Green Line.

It was a nice summer day back in 2002. I was running a tad bit behind my usual time arriving at work, but was in no rush at all. The only drawback of my arrival time at the metro station was that at that point every day it got realy crowded on the Green Line. Since I lived right near a Green Line station at the time, it didn't make sense to travel to another station to avoid the rush...Plus traffic was a bitch everyday out there.

So the train arrives, and as I anticipated, it was really crowded. I ended up standing between a wall on the rail car and between this lady with a red dress on. I smiled at her as I got on and said something along the lines of "This is what I get for oversleeping" or something to that effect. She smiled and said one of the standard responses from the hoodrat handbook, "I know that's right."

I can't lie..the red dress lady was kinda cute. She was a couple hamburgers across the thick/fat line, but she wasn't too far gone. Plus, her booty made up for the little bit of excesses everywhere else.

Initially, I was just in a zone, thinking about nothing but work. So as the train gets more and more crowded, she backs up on me more and more. Eventually, she backs that thang up on me, and I realize that she's begun swaying side to side gently. At first I thought "What the fuck?!? This chick is dry humping me on the Green Line!?!?"

Then, I started feeling a little...tingly. That shit started to feel gooder than a motherfucker.* Leon Jr. jr was wide the fuck awake...To the point that I had to cover my shit with my work portfolio when I got off the train so as not to draw attention to the boner. I really wish I didn't have to switch lines at Gallery Place, because I bet if I had stayed on there and actually talked to her, she would have broken me off something TERRIBLE. I'm sure if random gropage felt that good, she probably has incredible tang. I'm talking Snatch of Legend. I might be writing about toe curling, fantastic sex right now as opposed to getting groped by a stranger in public and actually kinda liking it.

Now, to all of you impressionable readers, I do not, repeat, DO NOT recommend that you try this. That's an easy way to catch a case, or get the shit beat outta you. Besides, it's rather...trampish. The only time groping strangers is acceptable these days is on the dancefloor, preferably after both parties have been drinking.


* note: I know that "gooder" is not a word, but felt so tingly and sparkly and magnificent that I had to use a word that does not exist to describe how horny I got...I was such a hebitchmanslutwhore that day.
posted by Hustleman

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