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Confession of an ex-molester
(or why I quit it)


Chikan is fairly unique character in Japan
Mainly because no other place has such over-crowded train
Intentionally or not, men and women feel each other

The first time I felt a woman in train, I was ... a victim
She was Chijo or female Chikan who deliberately feels a man
I was 17 years high-schooler
an average teenage boy

I felt somebody behind
A hand, and then, two hands
touching my buttocks
Deliberately? maybe
By chance? maybe
It was in a crowded train
so it can be by chance

Then the hands began to caress my buttocks
Lightly and then tightly
pressing and then moving around
It cannot be by chance
The hands grasped my butts!
IT CANNOT BE BY CHANCE
I was frozen

But who?
It cannot be a woman
I could not think of a woman feeling a man
I was merely 17 years boy
But a man?
A man feeling a man?
Is he gay chikan?
or does he mistake me a woman?
Mistake me a woman?
No way!

The chikan behind then began to press the body to my back
It was small, soft body
Instead of hard erected cock pressed on my back
I felt something tender on my coccyx

Something tender?
Is he impotent gay chikan?
Or is SHE chikan?

I felt the chest of chikan
It was not muscular type, either

What I can do?
I calculated my next move
If the chikan is female chikan, who believe me?
If I cry out for help, who believe me?
And most probably, the chikan behind is female

I was frozen
I was helpless
Nobody would believe me
The chikan behind kept rubbing her soft pubic against my butts
The hands grabbed and stroked on my hips
Then, little by little, a hand began to advance to my front

I was really scared
I couldn't see anything
I was panicked
A hand reached my frightened, shrank penis
gently caressed it
squeezed my scrota lightly and playfully

I could not think of anything else but to escape
But to where?
It's in over-crowded train
I had nowhere to hide

Finally the train reached the next station
The station had nothing to do with me
But I literally ran out of the train, away from her
Yes her
It was a woman
I casted a glance to the chikan when I left the train
She was around 20 years old
average looking ordinary Office Lady

I was frightened next few days
I was afraid of a female chikan
But the time passed
And the initial feeling of the fear faded away

Think of her
She was around 20 years old and she was not ugly
What's wrong with being touched by her?
She wouldn't kill me
Why didn't I enjoy such a great opportunity?

I started looking for her
hoping... I find her, exchange glance and she touch me again
But I couldn't see her again

I hoped if not her, somebody else might touch me
Everyday in a commuter train I came across a woman
any woman, I mean...
I hoped this woman or that woman might touch me
I approached a woman in a train
I took the defenseless posture
I thrusted my pubic
I even pressed it to the woman
But nobody caressed me like her

And I realized what I was doing was chikan
pressing penis against woman!?
Thereafter I did a lot of chikan, knowingly

Sometimes I succeeded to touch a woman directly
and found her wet

Like it or not
A woman feels good if she is touched right and touched long enough

I touched a woman on one of her breast
After I fumbled it so intensively
She came to the end of endurance
turned round and gave me another breast

Or a young woman whose crotch became my prey
fell into a doze with her head on my shoulder
in a not-so-crowded-airplane

I liked it

But I could not forget the fear I felt the first time
It really troubled me
I like touching woman
But I do not want to force it to unwilling woman

One day, I was in a train touching a lovable woman,
I overheard grumbling
And a quarrel
An unskilled chikan touched a woman and was complained
"Nobody touch an ugly woman like you" the man bursted out into threats
I guessed he was rather frightened
He was chikan, I knew that
A well experienced chikan, like me, can tell it
When he got into the train I understood that he was in the same trade
His steps following a woman told everything
And what did he say?
Nobody touched an ugly woman like her?
This clumsy pig hoof bungled over beloved pussy (or tits? or bum?)
and said she was ugly?
Any woman who let an utter stranger to touch her pussy must be a saint
The most sacred deity of the orders of chikan of the holy flesh
If you can not let her come (or come out), YOU made a mess
I couldn't bear his blasphemy
If a woman refuses, that's chikan's fault
I plowed my way through the crowd,
grabed him from behind,
kicked him on his groin,
and kicked him down

I didn't want anything troublesome
I turned around and left the place

I couldn't back to my woman
I needed to leave the scene

She was a pretty young woman in her twenties
I had alread touched her underbelly
Her resistance had been mild, almost nothing
She merely had stooped a little imploringly
Given a massage upon the pubic, she had been slightly flushed
Her eyes had been half closed
No, she had not had sexual pleasure
Not yet
The embarrassment had been ruling her
It would have required few more minutes
Enough to sitmulate her sexual feeling

But no more
She was so nice
But I must go

All my chikan-doing was ruined by the man, another chikan
What's done was done
I could not flatter her pussy any more
But at least I could flatter her ears
I passed by her
I seized her hand secretly
I whispered "I touch a lovely woman and nobody else"
And I left

I know some women like to be touched
I know it
They are really small fraction of female population
But they do exist

The trouble is how I know them?
No way
Until I touch, I cannot tell
If she is unwilling, I stop

But even if she is accepting my move, I'm not sure
Is she willing collaborator?
Is she so embarrassed to do anything against me?
Has she resigned after touched by so many chikan?

It really troubled me
Finally, I decided to stop doing chikan

years pass...

Suddenly I have come across chikan BBS on the web
People there are uninhibited
They tell what they like
and I tell what I like

After nights after nights of chats and posting messages
somebody reminded me that the all chikan BBS was in Japanese

There must be many expatriate population in Japan
who became victims or victimizers of a touching hand

Then why no English chikan BBS?
I tried few search engines and indeed the all chikan BBS was in Japanese
so I decided to start one in English

I had wanted my own Japanese chikan BBS when I had found the first one
but I had decided not as I had found 10 more chikan BBS in row

This new chikan BBS, however, is the only chikan BBS in English
(or the first English chikan BBS if somebody may mimic it)

Having my own chikan BBS is great compensation
It compensates me not doing chikan
The only thing better than being chikan BBS webmaster is
doing chikan by myself

Well, I gave up that idea
I should not touch a woman unless she says it's ok
Molesting a woman is wrong

Only if I find a woman like the first one...
The Creatress of my sexual mythology

Don't you know a woman like her?
or aren't you her?
are you young and beautiful?
will you touch me?
or let me touch you?
public or private
any time and place acceptable...
mail to webmaster

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